I posted a quote on my facebook page www.facebook.com/canmamagetfit the other day and it describes my feelings perfectly. I do not NEED to be skinny. I DO need to love myself.
I recently emerged from my self-wallowing, overwhelming life just long enough to realize that I was making myself miserable. My problem is not that I have nothing worthwhile in my life. My problem is that I have too darn much going on. I have so many hobbies, passions, and goals that I can’t keep up. I feel like I’m always running behind a truck that is carrying my life off with it. At some point during this realization, I decided that I needed less activities and more focus. The question was…how? All my life, I’ve been a go-getter. I try new things. I have creativity, a willingness to learn, and motivation. I discovered I was actually GOOD at many things. All these things I was good at, though, began to split me apart. At the start of this year, I was feeling pulled in so many directions that I began to fall apart. So, I took a step back (not an easy step for me!) and I re-evaluated where I was putting my efforts. Instead of spending the majority of my time on any one thing, I was splitting up into so many areas that I was losing focus. I needed some help.
I am a knowledge junkie. The more I have, the more I crave. So, naturally, I hit the books, the internet, and any resourceful person I thought might have the answers. I wanted to know how to funnel my life back into one nice stream of compatible activities. Turns out, I’m not the first person to desire a simplified, structured life. Not surprisingly, I found a common theme. Set goals, make a plan, and find someone to help you be accountable. Easy, right? Not so fast…because there’s a step that has to be done before all the rest: learn to love yourself.
Wait…What? Learn to love yourself? Is this mama for real? Yes! I am asking you to love yourself.
How can you set goals for yourself if you don’t know what your priorities are? And how can you set your priorities if you don’t know what is important to you? And how do you know what is important if you don’t know your strengths…if you don’t love yourself enough to want to change. Light bulb! That’s totally the opposite of what I always thought change was supposed to do. I never tried to change myself by loving myself. I always focused on the negative and then made a plan to get rid of it. Should I tell you how well that worked out for me?
So, I’ve been spending the last few weeks really thinking about what it is I find to be my strengths. I’m not done with my list yet. In fact, I think I’ve just scratched the surface. But, what I’ve found is interesting. Some of the things I’ve been doing (blogging about how much i like to “do it all”) are actually things I would really rather not do at all. And some of the things I didn’t have time for are actually bigger priorities that I was acknowledging. So, my list is not stagnant. It evolves throughout my week, and in the course of every day, I’m adjusting how I think about myself.
It helps to see how others see you, too. From their eyes, you may have character traits you never knew you had. Or, they may identify an area where they see your eyes glaze over and your attention wavers. Find someone you trust to help you get started, but before you set your next goal for yourself, think about what makes you…you! What makes you tick? What puts the shine in your eyes? The hop in your step? What do you feel so passionate about that nothing would change your views. And write it down. Keep it in front of you every day. Know that it can change, but know that it can also stay the same. But, know you. Love you. Be you.